Today I got to work with a group of people that I enjoy working with. One of the people, we will call them Sally, in the group was there as a spare helper, and not there normally. The other person, whom we will call Jane, is in this location day in and day out everyday, all week. So this is their spot. Sally however, has been working for the company longer and has done more in her years there, and has more experience through the years. So these 2 people have 2 different styles of getting the job done right. Well, today those styles clashed. I was only with this group for about an hour and a half, and I could tell that there was a lot of tension.
It seems that the two did not communicate well. They seemed to have preset judgements about each other. so when Sally did something that Jane did not like, Jane got upset and quit talking to Sally about it. Instead Jane just talked about it to everyone else, including me. Then I spoke to Sally and she was worried about satisfying the customers (Guests as we call them) more than anything. We know that we cannot make everyone happy, BUT it is our job to do the best we can. And today unfortunately we had a situation that was going to make many people unhappy, so Sally was doing the best she could to maintain the happiness. Jane was not so much worried about that, she was more sticking to her usual daily job. She does not worry about it when people get upset, she works in a mind set where she knows that she cannot make everyone happy, and that is too bad, she has to get the job done and there is nothing more that she can do to make anyone happier.
Again 2 styles of working to get the job done - clashing big time. throw in a lack of understanding, compassion and zero communication and you have one hell of a bad day. Neither person even tried to understand the other side of the fence. Jane just assumed one thing about Sally, and Sally made up her mind that Jane did not care at all. Unfortunately Sally ended up getting all the angry guests, and Jane got to go in the back and escape the angry mobs.
After i tried to explain to each party of why the other was acting a certain way, they both had valid reasons for being upset at each other. I can see both sides. but what ultimately needs to happen, is that they need to communicate and work it out and find common ground to build a proper working machine!
I am a very compassionate person. I can see all sides of the fence, and i tend to sit right in the middle and watch. I don't pick a side unless one side is WAY WAY WAY out of line. and even then, I give them a chance to prove themselves to me before I make a decision. I have been criticized for not picking sides between friends. ultimately it ended a bunch of friendships.
I am not one to say "you are right - the other person is wrong". No. I am not wishy washy. Instead i say "i understand". that does not mean you are right and they are wrong. Nope! it simply means I get it, and i see your side of the story.
So I walk on fences all the time. I observe. I listen, I try to help the communication if i see a need to, but I try to stay out of picking sides. If i am not a part of the drama, I won't volunteer to become a part of it. Just because Sally and Jane were at odds does not mean that i am going to be at odds with either of them individually. I take each relationship as its own. if jane and sally hate eachother, that is their relationship, not mine.
Keep an open mind, and open heart and communicate with everyone around you. you may find that little bit of compassion inside that can help you begin to understand the other side.
The Disney movie "Brother Bear" is a great reminder of this. As Phil Collins sang: Everything will become clear to you, when you see things through another's eyes."
No comments:
Post a Comment