Raising Kids With the Right Tools

Been a while, I know.  It is not that I have not had anything to say, it is that i had too much to say, and most was pretty negative and angry.  And as much of an open book as I am, I didn't want to be THAT open and nasty.  We all have those days, weeks or even months don't we?  Sure we do!  We are all human.  We have emotions, and it is okay to have them, it is how we HANDLE those emotions that make us better people.

I teach this to my son.  When he wants a cookie, or toy, or just wants to watch CARS for the umpteenth time he has to ask nicely.  If he starts whining we refuse.  Then of course he breaks out into the toddler tantrum.  I immediately start looking for "big boy".  "Where is big boy?  BIG BOY... WHERE ARE YOUUUUUU?????"  he quickly stops crying and says "big boy right here."  I then tell him, "oh there you are!  Are you sad?  are you angry that i said no?  Well it is okay to be sad and angry, but it is NOT okay to throw a fit!  It is how you handle it, Jordan."  I know he does not completely understand me, but as long as i keep saying it, it will one day make sense and hopefully stick into his brain.

Dr Phil often says.... "Don't do it until...  Do it UNTIL!"  meaning, don't do it until you give up.... do it UNTIL they finally get it and cooperate with you.

I feel that as parents we should start lessons early.  Don't be upset if your kid does not "get it"  instead just keep teaching them.  repeat those words that go over their head.  one day the words will make sense, and by then, the words are already instilled in their brain and you are ahead of the game.  begin good habits and practices early so that they will never learn the bad habits.  Many parents, including my hubby, have often said "he is two, let him be two, he will figure it out."  I agree to let them be kids, but certain good habits are so much easier to teach if you don't have to break bad habits first.  so why not teach them proper ways of doing things right off the bat.

When you teach a kid to eat food, we teach them to hold their fork or spoon.  we don't "let them be kids" and eat with their hands, right?  could you imagine if we did that.  it would be so hard to make a 5 year old hold his fork (it is too much fun to eat with your hands!)   So you see, nip the bad habits in the bud.  communicate with you child even if they don't understand everything.  one day they will, then it will all make sense and it will not be as much of an issue with them to do what you say.

It works.  I talked to Jordan like he was adult since the age of 1.  I knew he did not understand a word I was saying.  Now that he is beginning to understand it, I can tell that he is thinking it through.  It will pay off one day, i never give up.  I am determined to raise a kid that has a better handle on themselves than i do.  I am still a mess.  ha ha!