Laziness has overtaken me. I have not posted b/c i have been lazy! I haven't really been able to think to myself even. But maybe that is because I have not focused on myself enough this past week.
So, this weekend I am going to jot down some things that i need to get out of my head, and onto this blog. Thoughts have swirled in my mind, but nothing has really popped out as something that i need to write about. I think this is a mistake. I should write about it no matter how small i think it is. Small things become big.
Here is one small thing that i can write about now, as a matter of fact.
I am easily amused and entertained. I am like a 4 year old when it comes to entertainment. I can watch a crappy Disney sequel and enjoy it (except cinderella II, that was just awful). I will be with friends and we might be on the subject of movies, or books, or TV. And a title will come up and someone will talk about how awful it is. I don't really argue. I am afraid to look like an idiot that likes garbage. instead i will pick out one good thing to say about the subject matter, and act like I only like that one thing. when in fact - I enjoyed all of it.
For example my friends and I were riding the Dinosaur ride at Animal Kingdom and they were talking about how awful the Dinosaur movie was. yea yea - i know it probably was pretty bad. But i was so into it. I was not so much into the story, but more into the new cutting edge mix of realistic CG texturing and animation where the characters antics were more cartoon-like. Plus it was filmed with live action backgrounds from Australia, and the Music was gorgeous. But I was too afraid to show that i enjoyed the film after they just dogged it. so i just simply said "only thing i liked was the music"... NOT TRUE i liked more than that - but would I tell them and look like a loser? no....
I wasn't being honest. this is a tough thing for me to get over. For YEARS I was made fun of because I liked things that no one else did, and I was labeled a loser/dork because of it. I strive to be accepted on a daily basis. So to this day I tend to try not to let on how much of a loser I still am. Sorry, I guess I just enjoy all of life, even the crappy lame stuff. ha ha!
I just need to learn to learn not to worry about what others think and just be me. but that is so hard to tell a 31 year old to do that! especially since she has been doing that to herself for over 20 years!
I get this. I do it, too. Because people think their opinion is the only right one. So it's hard to speak up sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed Dinosaur. I remember being SO excited about it with my sister and we liked it a LOT. I haven't seen it forever!